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Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
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11:47 pm - revisiting the past..
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i was reading through all of my livejournal entries since 2001 (well, obviously not nearly ALL of them).. and it's so strange, it's like warping back into the past. very interesting. i stopped once i got to the part where my uncle died.. i don't want to think about it, really.
it's funny how life can take you in circles. you always end up back with the same people, maybe in different situations, or with different people in the same situations. if that makes any sense.
life has been sad lately, and i keep hoping that nothing bad will happen, but you just never know.
christmas day of 06, our beloved guinea pig, silver, passed away. it was our first death of a pet that we've gone through as a couple.. and it was very hard. it ruined my christmas, and i cried for weeks. i still cry over her, honestly.
and then on august 12 of this year, one of our other guinea pigs, vash, passed away. he was the blonde one with the top-hat, if any of you remember the pictures. his death was really hard for us, because, like silver, it was totally unexpected. and as usual, the vets office was closed and our emergency vet in asheville knows nothing about guinea pigs. we did everything we could for him. i was syringe feeding him vitamin b caplets, poop and pellets (only you guinea pig slaves would understand).. we thought he was getting better, we stayed up all night holding him and trying to syringe feed him, and then two hours before the vet office opened, our baby gave up. i cried all day at work, and we buried him next to silver in their beautiful field of hay.
life is precious, i guess all we can do is appreciate it.
i'm a manager for dillard's now.. i got tired of driving an hour and a half to work everyday. i'm managing the juniors/accessory dept. it's a huge responsibility, but it keeps me on my toes.. it's an interesting situation managing people that are older than me. and it's such a strange company.. much much different than ann taylor.
i saw my best friend (VICKY!) get married in florida at the end of june. it was absolutely amazing. it made me cry.. it's crazy to think of my best friend getting married!! i can't really explain it, it's just weird bu t totally amazing!
i revisited the past with some people i used to be very close to while i was there. i don't really want to say much more except that it's easier to try to forget what is not possible. im so sorry for that.
hope everyone is doing well. i miss you all.
xo
current mood:  complacent
current music: ani difranco / both hands
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| Sunday, May 14th, 2006
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7:26 pm
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ahh, a glimpse into the old livejournal.
life has changed for me so much. i'm working at the ann taylor in greenville, sc.. and making an 1 1/2hr commute everyday. it leaves me no time for my family, which is by the way, sam, two dogs and three guinea pigs. hah.
sam and i are living in a house together.. we still have rocco (rottweiler) and furio (australian shepherd mix).. and the pigs..
it's hard doing the "full-time working" thing. yes, the money is great.. but it's not good enough to miss out on 12 hours a day, 5 days a week (including driving).. it's killing me.
i miss my friends.. sam and i have friends, but yet i've lost so many friends. i try to call ali and make plans, but they never seem to work out (i don't really think she's interested).. kasey came into town (but i was too drunk to drive and now i can't get ahold of her).. and it turns out, she has come to asheville before and hasn't even called me.. it's so funny how friendship just kinda withers away.
vicky and i never talk, and i've lost her phone number.
it makes me sad to think about. i see holly every few days at earth fare, and i sadly think about how we used to be such great friends, and she was truely a great friend..
life can be so sad.
i don't know what else to say. i saw bob dylan last week .. he was amazing, just as i expected. i went with cassidy and sam.. my two best buddies! we drank beer and stood up and yelled for bob dylan as loudly as possible..
and, he played MASTERS OF WAR.. and nobody freaked out, but i was totally freaking out. what a political statement to make! people have no appreciation.
anyway, i don't want to sit here and think about old times and be sad anymore.. i'm not that same girl. the other day someone said to me, "you're one of the most positive people i know".. anyone who knew me two years ago would've said the exact opposite. i have changed a lot.. and i'm hoping it's for the better.
anyway, kasey -- PLEASE call me. i really want to talk to you and see you so badly. i feel like it has been fifty years since i last saw you. remember, snow scream ice cream at ali's house!
and vicky -- e-mail me your phone number (blairandsam@hotmail.com).. i lost it, and sam and i are planning a trip to florida.. and i'm not coming unless i get in touch with you.
tangled up in blue..
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| Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
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9:26 pm
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wow.. i'm always so busy. i don't have the internet at my new house.
life is stressful, and for once in my life i don't feel like elaborating on that. i'm about to become a salaried manager.. the other day i saw beth and dez outside of ingles, and bethy said, "blair! you've grown up so much!".. and it almost made me want to cry, but yes, i have grown up so much.. and it kind of sucks, but its kind of good.
it doesnt feel like so long ago that i was some little dramatic teenager. now, here i am, working full time, making a career for myself.. running a house, having a family (of animals!).. wow, wow, wow.
life has changed, indeed. and it makes me very sad to think of the golden days -- downtown, chuck taylors, attending all of the shows and meeting all kinds of new people. im not even friends with the same people anymore, and when i see them i sometimes just want to give them a hug and try to pretend it's all just the same.
life is hard.. but i know that everything will eventually improve.
i wonder how the people who used to be a big part of my life are doing now..
how are you doing? i still think of you all.
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| Monday, August 8th, 2005
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8:43 pm - an update?
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totaled my car a couple of weeks ago.
flipped it four times.
sam broke his nose & cracked a rib,
i'm okay.
i bought a 2004 dodge stratus ES. it started having transmission problems 3 days later.. now dodge rented me a brand new magnum. it's nice, but i want my own damn car.
i'm a manager at ann taylor now. it's a good job.. it feels nice to make a good amount of money, but it doesn't feel nice working 40 hours a week. oh well.
sam and i are moved out. we kept one of the puppies.. his name is furio. he's adorable. we're still trying to find a home for the last puppy.. i'm attached to him, but i can't keep him. know anyone in asheville looking for a puppy?
i've been sad the last few days. thinking a lot about friendships lost.. about my past, not that i miss it.. but just that i wish i could have told myself, "things will get better."
still have 3 guinea pigs. hoping to adopt one more.. i want to adopt a lethal white (guinea pigs born without eyes/hearing/etc). i feel better making a difference in the lives of my guinea pigs. i know it sounds cheesy, but they went from being unwanted, to being the most loved creatures in the world. sam and i are going to start fostering pigs in a couple of months.
what else is there to say?
we live in a
world of
secrets
all eyes open,
we watch from
cracked blinds
for darkness
to creep in
from the outside,
we are scared for tomorrow,
for bars infront of our eyes,
caged,
we sing for the future,
in hopes that it will bring
better days.
(i do not write anymore. the writing has escaped me. i write ocassionally because i still get the "itch." i miss being "blair the dramatic writer".. minus the dramatic part)
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